12.04.2009

2012. Comedy Of The Year.

Whether or not it was intentional the enfant terrible behind Hollywierd's latest special effects gang bang has actually created a parody of disaster movies. The over saturation and over extension of numerous tropes combines to form a veritable Voltron of comedy.

For starters this movie fails science- all science- for eternity. It manages to fail astronomy, physics, quantum physics, oceanography, volcanology, seismology, and geology. That list probably isn't comprehensive. Seriously a planetary "alignment" (which they also add the center of the galaxy too via opening shot because why not) causes "mutant neutrinos" to "heat up" (I can only guess that they mean more than its usual state.) the Earth's core which then causes the crust to slide around (once again, we can only assume that they mean more than usual).

The ensuing disasters provide a backdrop for a stretch limo to corner like a Ferrari, jump like...well like all Hollywood vehicles with a floored accelerator, and outrun...an earthquake. Also an RV outruns a volcanic eruption. Yes. You totally just read that.

This movie delivers (spoiler alert) a tidal wave capsizing a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, a mysteriously filling compartment in order to drown a character of "dubious" morality, boats which look like the spaceships in Star Ship Troopers (the movie), a rich people suck plot, international government conspiracy, screw the poor, and die for our ship.

2012 could actually be the most brilliant comedy ever.

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