People Want To Hold Signs In The Rain Today

First we have a group of students protesting the closing of their school by the Archdiocese. Enrollment dropped by 500 students, so...probably not gonna win that one. Still, they win best sign for "Archbishop aborts Cardinal Gibbons". It's nice to see kids love their school.

On the opposite end of the spectrum (and a few blocks away) we have a small gathering of (presumably) local hippies celebrating(?) "existence day". By holding up signs by the end of the park. Okay, let's take a second here, because this is the kind of shit that makes people hate hippies. Making a spectacle out of something sacred is so incredibly gross. It's like pretending to speak in tongues to appear pious or holy, or holding an orgy in the middle of the street because sex is just about growing closer. Or maybe I'm just sick of people's spiritual talk-talk. Don't say it, just fucking be it.


Truth In Advertising...

...albeit, probably unintentional.

So i'm watching the O's game (depressing, but not as bad as last night which was almost suicidal) and during the break for the 7th we get the following from the announcer: Tonight's game has been brought to you by Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey, reminding you to please drink...(wait for it...wait for it...) responsibly.


Also? I got the stitches out of my left knee today so yay!


Opening Day

So I sucked up my injuries and braved the crowd to today's game. There was the usual guarded hope, if a bit more pessimism than previous several seasons.
The game was good. Seriously good.

But what most people will remember is that the O's would have won if not for Michael Gonzalez, who was literally booed off of the field. I've never seen a Baltimore crowd go after one of our own like that.

If today's game is any indicator this is going to be a bumpy season for both players and fans tired of having defeat snatched from the jaws of victory.



This may be the saddest thing I've seen in a while. Finer parties have told better jokes than I can manage so I'm going to just add "what the hell, people."

Seriously, What.The.Hell. Nothing says "desperate pathetic loser" like completely abdicating all responsibility for attaining the basic minimum of social skills required to meet a girl and arrange a gaming session (without having to pay). I mean...you're not even gonna have sex with this person. There will be no longing looks. No cuddles. No pimply nerd grease awkward making out. Not even D&D themed cyber sex. This is even sadder than chat room dating and that's pretty damn sad. What I'm saying here, is that anyone who has to pay people to play video games with them online should make a rope out of their filthy tube socks and hang themselves with it because they have officially failed at life.

You know what should happen when you use Game Crush (as a paying client- I can understand being a payee because that's just opportunism at it's fucking finest)? The minute you arrange your "play date" your door bell rings. You answer it and lo and behold standing on the other side is God, who then proceeds to bitch slap you for all He's worth (which, you know, is probably a lot). He then tells you that you're the most pointless creation He ever thought of. He laughs at your tears (which smell like gravy). Then, out of a newly discovered sense of shame and propriety you go back into the basement and hang yourself with the tube sock rope, making the world a better place. Congratulations! The End.


Burn, Burn, Your Eyes Are Gonna Burn....

Some companies really shouldn't be online. Because I think we've just proven that there is such a thing as bad publicity.