In case you missed it, Michael Moore has a list of promises for conservatives. Of course those promises are in moon-speak so, we ran them through the ol' translator before laying them out for our loyal readers (hi, mom and dad).
1.) We will never call you "unpatriotic" because we don't really know what it means. Instead we'll call you Nazis. They tried to establish democracy in Iraq too. We think.
2.) You haven't heard the last from our activist judges.
3.) We won't spend your money and your grandchildren's money so much as give it away. Though some of it just might end up in a few freezers. Doesn't that sound balanced?
4.) After we snatch defeat from the jaws of victory we'll promptly resume hamstringing the military and the intellegence community. Viva la France deux!
5.) Under Hillary Care we'll all suffer equally. Whether rich or poor, your chances of dying while waiting for medical attention will sky rocket. The government is so swell at everything else, why shouldn't it be in charge of your health?
6.) We don't need no stinking economy. We will run with brother bear and swim with sister salmon over the crumbling remains of eeeeviiil western capitalism.
7.) Our enemies are going to have to nuke us before we decide they're worth fighting. Now that's what we call safe!
8.) We will be far too concerned with emptying your wallet and controlling your speech crime to look in your bedroom. Yet. Unless you're a Republican- then your bedroom and your families' bedrooms are totally fair game.
9.) We will promptly disarm the law abiding populace. Criminals should not be in fear while carrying out their chosen professions. Additionally the last recourse of the people against the tyrany of government is to lay down and surrender. If you cooperate with the bandits they probably won't kill you. See? Safe.
10.) So what if you have to work the register in a fast food restaurant to earn minimum wage? Everyone's entitled to whatever they want regardless of education or work ethic. In light of this we will continue all social engineering. At your expense.
11.) We encourage the practice and respect off all religions except for Christianity and Judaeism. We elevate Islam as being more equal than the others, and extremism will not be tolerated unless we have to worry about you murdering non-Jews.
12.) "We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give
us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray." NOT!