Dear Orioles

WTF? Guthrie. Dude. Stop loading the bases. Seriously. Especially in Boston. It's The Green Monster. You can't count on grand slams to save the day when after you've thrown away a perfectly good lead because you can't pitch.

5th inning 8 to 5, Baltimore. 7th inning 10 to 8, Boston. Problem? Obviously. Let's not talk about the unforced errors. No, wait. Let's do. Roberts (2B)? Really? Maybe it's not a great idea to grease your glove before games. Same goes to you, Huff (1B).

I love you guys. I do. So please stop hurting me. I mean, between the Rangers Wednesday (19 to 6. Really!?) and Boston last night, I shudder to think about what terrors will unfold come June. Here's how things are supposed to work: You (the Baltimore Orioles) are supposed to rock to the extreme in the beginning of the season, giving everyone here in charm city (myself included) much hope for post-season awesomeness. Then sometime in June (generally just after the all-star game) you suddenly make a sharp turn, drive over a cliff, and obliterate the season in a fiery hell pit. (We, here in charm city, would very much appreciate it if the second half of that arrangement didn't actually happen.) The thing that you seem to be missing regarding the last 2 games is the "rocking" and "giving hope" bits. Please correct. By 7:10pm tonight. Thank you.

With warm regards,

C. (Toaster Lover) S.

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